I had been the only one who went back to the hostel so I'd brought the guitar, strapped to my back like a rifle. My weapon of choice for this new war of ours in Vietnam. The war to show love. The war to be light.

While Garrett started strumming and singing I pulled out of my bag the paints, our makeshift craft paper (a free magazine), and my nalgene with water for cleaning out the brushes. Before Kris and I have even finished setting up, we have drawn a crowd. Kids. Teens. There is a group of older men with professional looking cameras. They are obsessed with taking pictures of us.

People stop and stay for a few minutes just watching. Most of our onlookers are not tourists. They are people that come here often. To the park. Maybe to the temple. But today they find us fascinating.

I am focused on painting, but there are things going on all around. I hear Casey talking to some teen girls. 'No, we are just here for a few more days.' 'No, I do not know what they are painting.' Tyler is talking to a tourist who has been jamming along with us for a while. Angela sounds like an angel as her voice mixes with Garrett's.

Garrett starts to interceed. He starts to call out for the freedom of these people. He isn't messing around with his lyrics. A girl from behind me who speaks English says to her friends 'Let's get out of here.'

The thought passes through my mind that she might have gone to tell a guard- an official. Nothing happens, however. We been at the park multiple times now doing all sorts of things, including prayer walking, playing worship music over speakers, playing songs to Jesus on guitars, reading Bibles, planting stones with scriptures written on them... and the only thing we've gotten reprimanded for was once when I laid down on a park bench with my eyes closed to pray. No lying down on the benches. No sleeping, the guard had motioned.

No problem.

My painting is coming to an end. It's of the temple and all of the Tet decorations and flags. I try to think of a way to put Jesus into it... some allusion using the sun, or hiding a symbol of a cross or a fish. But I can't think of anything that wouldn't be awkward and unnatural. I love Jesus and I created it. That will have to be enough of a connection. I give it to the twenty something standing behind me. He's been watching for a long time. He grins ear to ear when I hand it to him.

There are no strangers at this park. Every time we go I can see Your hand before and behind us. I can see You loving people through us. I can see You bringing light. I see You glorified.  

We recently made the transition from Southeast Asia to Central America. Since we are at a transition point, I decided it would be a good time to sit down and think about where God wants me to focus these last few months of the Race. We are coming to an end of this particular season very quickly, and I truly want to take advantage of every opportunity that these last few months will provide.

I don't want this last leg of the Race (or my life) to be characterized by what I'm doing. I don't want to live my life focused on doing things for God. I want to live my life focused on God. I want my life to be characterized by a passion for God from which everything I do flows. I want to be focused completely on Him and who He is. All of the doing sometimes serves as a distraction from God himself. I really feel like this last leg of the Race, God just wants me to be. He simply wants me to be who He has created and called me to be.

I wanted to take this transition period to think about some practical goals to setup and strive for over the next few months. In prayer, I didn't get that. While there are plenty of things practical steps that I need to take in any number of areas of desired growth, the true focus is simply God. That's all that I really need to concern my thoughts and time with. Everything else will take care of itself. In fact, everything else is really peripheral to simply seeking God.

I truly want to foster an environment of true Christian community on this team. I truly want to work hard for our ministry and bless them. I want to continue to learn more about God. But above all of these things, I simply want God. I want a deep, pure passion for the heart of God.

These other things that I want will happen naturally from an outflow of just being who God has already created me to be. I don't want to do ministry; I want ministry to flow naturally out of my relationship with and focus on the Lord. I should be seeing all of these other things through my focus on Christ.

Basically that's where I'm at right now. I'm not so concerned with doing this or that. I just want to be in love with God.

All of this "being" doesn't negate the "doing" either. This doesn't give license to not do anything. It's simply more about how I approach the things that I do. My entire life purpose of bringing His Kingdom is what I will still live to do, but I want to do it out of the overflow of God in me.

I hope that this blog makes at least a little bit of sense as this is something that God has recently placed on my heart. I'm still trying to process, understand, and articulate what He is saying.

Romans 8:6

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

 

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

The World Race is in constant flux. We never really get settled into one place or into one way of doing something because we know that it will change. As I mentioned before, debrief in Nairobi brought several changes. The biggest change is that we have new teams again. Although we found our about our new teams in Nairobi, we are just starting our time together because of MANistry last month.  So I felt that a blog introducing our new team is only appropriate... 

Kris Tippett, Carrie Campbell, Tom Kowatch, Casey Kowatch, Angela Murray, Garrett McNiell

Meet Team Harmony! I'm extremely excited about this new team! I have had the chance to be on a team with or work with everyone on the team except Garrett, and I truly love them all. They are an amazing group of people to say the least!

We decided on Harmony as our team name because we feel that it is a perfect description of our team. The definition of Harmony is 'a musical combination of sounds, pleasing arrangement of parts, lack of conflict, internal calm.' I truly believe that our team will be able to live together in a true harmony, lacking conflict, and with an internal calm.

We pray that this internal peace will allow the team to focus on the things that really matter, pushing each other in our relationship with the Lord. That's our simple goal. We want to further understand the True Love that God has for each of us. In a world that has completely corrupted the word love, we want to be a light. We want to be a team that loves each other well; a team that loves as a result of the love God has showed us. We want our team to be a real, tangible example to this broken world of what it means when we say that the God of the universe loves you. 

It is our hope that we actually put into practice the things that we constantly talk about. We know the right answers and the right things to say. Everyone will say that they want to be intentional with each other, with our ministry, and with our walk with the Lord. Everyone says that they want to put distractions aside and run after God. Everyone says that they want to "choose in". And everyone says they desire a unified and safe environment.

My prayer (and I hope your prayer for us) is that we make this a reality. I pray that we live with no reservations, no retreat, and no regrets. I believe that to accomplish these things we have to be willing to sacrifice. We are going to have to give up our own desires for comfort. We will have to lay down our own selfish ambitions. It's not enough to do the 2 hours of "scheduled" ministry for the day and then spend the rest of the time surfing the internet or watching TV. It will require us to sacrifice our (as if it is ours) time to make this community really happen. I can say with 100% confidence that we would never look back and say, "I really wish I had spent more time on Facebook when I was in Cambodia". We will never regret the time we invest in the team, in our walk with the Lord or in the ministry we are working with. I'm fully confident of that. However, I am an easily distracted person.  So I do ask for your prayer.

I also ask that you pray for our new team. We have had a couple weeks together as a team, and we are still figuring out things out. Pray that our team will not miss out on the incredible opportunities before us. Pray that we aren't distracted, but that we are focused on God. Pray that we show each other genuine love, outdo each other in showing honor, and live sacrificially.

Also, I am the team leader for Team Harmony. I obviously feel completely unqualified to lead this team, but it is clearly a place God has me in for a reason. So please pray that I will be listening to God and seeking His direction for the team. I pray that God will use me in this position for His glory. Pray that God will show us clear ways to promote safety on the team and true community that simply seeks the face of God.

Colossians 3:12-14

 ¹² Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 

Romans 12: 9-13

⁹ Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰ Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Luke 14:26-27

²⁶ "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

I'm overwhelmed with joy every time I open my e-mail or check my Facebook messages because without fail I have at least one e-mail or message from you guys telling me that you are praying for me. It is truly an incredible blessing to have so many of you back home supporting me through prayer everyday! I can't tell you how grateful I am for you. Since I know you are faithful in prayer, I thought it would be a good idea to post a prayer request blog. 

We have squad debriefs every few months, and while the structure and content varies, it is always a time of reflection over the previous months. I'm learning the value of reflection and self-evaluation. Unfortunately, I don't typically try to do this until I'm put in a position where I'm forced. Our last debrief was an extremely encouraging time. I thoroughly enjoyed the time with the squad, and I believe God used the time to reveal several things that He wants to work on with me.

Reflecting on my time in East Africa, I realized how much time and how many opportunities I squandered. It was not the best 3 months for me, and as I thought about the time, I began to regret the mistakes I made. I coasted. I just went through the motions. I sought comfort above service. I didn't serve the team or even help promote a safe environment on the team. I wasn't the spiritual leader to the girls that I'm called to be. I wasn't...I didn't...I wish...

As I thought about the numerous ways that I "dropped the ball" God reminded me of His love. The song How He Loves really hit home. One of the lines in the song state, "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us." What a powerful thought!? I can't understand it, but God's love is in no way affected by my performance. I can't be good enough for Him to love me more, and I can't screw up enough for Him to love me less. God is love. I told that to countless Ugandans and Kenyans, but somehow I forgot the depth of that truth. He is the very essence of love. It is completely unconditional. His thoughts for us number greater than the sand on the seashore! These are the truths that we should be dwelling on.

After realizing and internalizing the truth that I don't have to maintain regrets from the past 3 months, I could freely analyze how to move forward. It would be a lose if I thought about how I messed up, regretted it, understood that God's love is still unconditional and then stopped there. The next logical (and required) step is to focus on how to move forward remembering the mistakes but not dwelling on them. Out of all of this, there are several areas I really want to work on in this next season. If you would be praying for me in these areas it would be greatly appreciated!

• First, I simply don't want to repeat 3 months of coasting and missed opportunities. I want to go deeper with the Lord daily. I want more of Him above all else.
• I want to maintain a positive attitude; I want to learn to be joyful always. Dad always said growing up to remember the 3 C's: don't criticize, condemn, or complain. I was entirely too cynical and sarcastic. I must remember that my words (which are a reflection of my attitude) have power.
• I want to learn to be an encouragement to everyone around me. I want to promote a safe environment for everyone on the team. A part of that is creating an atmosphere of encouragement.
•    Many times I find that it is much easier to sit back and wait for someone else to get things done. This season, I'm working on taking initiative anytime that I see a need. It's wrong or just lazy to sit back and wait for someone else to do something I recognize needs to be done.
• A goal that should be a daily focus in my life is becoming the man that God wants me to be. That is somewhat arbitrary and cliche, but specifically I need to work on stepping into my role as spiritual leader, walking in integrity, seeking God's heart above all else, and dying daily to my selfish desires.

Romans 12:1-3

 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It seems like time is just flying by. I can't believe that it is already the middle of December! The past few weeks have brought about a lot of change (more later). We finished up in Africa with a squad debrief, and we are spending this month in Thailand.

 I'm absolutely loving Thailand! The Thai food has been amazing, and I've also had several Chocolate Extreme Blizzards from Dairy Queen!

All the guys plus our boss Ron

This month we are doing MANistry. This just means that all of the guys on the squad are working together on one big team. It has been great getting to know the guys from our squad a little bit better this month. And of course, it has been legit to have dude time. We are working with an organization called Remember Nhu. This is an organization that has homes in several different countries. We are working at their homes in Chiang Mai. They have around 60 girls in two homes. During the day we have been working on digging a trench and clearing a fence line. I love the manual labor! I'm pretty confident that I'm in the worst shape of my life so it's nice to have a chance to do something physical for a change.

Alex working hard?

After this month we will reconnect with the girls from our teams and head into Cambodia. I'll write a blog about the team and some specific prayer requests we have. Our teams were switched after Tanzania, but we obviously aren't going to be working with our new team until next month.

This blog is an edited e-mail conversation that I have been having with my family. These are just some of the thoughts I've had for a while, but I'm just now taking the time to write my thoughts down. At The Awakening, there was a session on Kingdom. The premise of this session lined up well with the chapter Dream Great Dreams in Good to Great in God's Eyes (excellent, highly recommended book). Basically, we talked about how we should be dreaming so-called Kingdom dreams. We should be asking God to give us a vision for what he wants us to do with our lives. And we should be asking God to give us a dream that is beyond ourselves; a dream that is beyond what we could accomplish by our own power.

I have also been reading A Hole In Our Gospel (another highly recommended book). This book is based on the reality that typical Christians ignore the things that Jesus taught if they aren't comfortable for us. I am absolutely as guilty of this as the next Christian. The "hole" in our gospel refers to our "fire insurance" Chrisitanity. We seem to have a hard time living out the whole gospel.

The third thing that has been convicting is in the book of James. James 2:18-19 and 24 says:

"But someone will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe - and shudder! ...You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone."

Believing is not enough. Not that I think that is all that any of us is doing. The reality of the fact that God wants us to be doing things for His Kingdom in every part of our lives is just hitting home to me right now. The past month and a half here in Africa, I have thought a lot about home and its comforts. I have thought about what I want to do when I get back, but I caught myself. If you notice, I have thought about what I want to do. This is the exact opposite of what I need to be focused on. This is my fight against my flesh. This is an area that I must die to myself. I must continue to say it's all about what God wants with my life. I just want to honestly go to Him with open hands, ready and willing for whatever he asks.

James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." I believe that many Christians today (I consider myself at the forefront of this) are too focused on the end of that verse. We are highly concerned with keeping oneself unstained from the world to the point that I have been more concerned with "doing the right thing" than caring for those in need around us. There is a world of hurt that cannot be ignored.

Richard Stearns said in A Hole in Our Gospel,

"...we are the carriers of the gospel-the good news that was meant to  change the world. Belief is not enough. Worship is not enough. Personal  morality is not enough. And Christian community is not enough. God has  always demanded more. When we committed ourselves to following Christ,  we also committed to living our lives in such a way that a watching world  would catch a glimpse of God's character-His love, justice, and mercy-through   our words, actions, and behavior. "We are ... Christ's ambassadors..."

That captures exactly what I'm trying to say. We are his ambassadors, and we should be living our lives in such a way that people look at us and see God's character!

Another quote,

"The question for you and for me is this:  will Christ find evidence of our genuine concern for His beloved poor when  He looks at the fruit of our lives on that day? Further, what might He be  calling you to do today? What new steps of faith might you take to demonstrate   your own concern for "the least of these"?"

That may be the most convicting quote for me. Will He see evidence in my life? Do I have true concern for the least of these? That's a question that we should all be asking ourselves. Saying that we are concerned is not enough. We are called to do, to go, and to be the hands and feet of Christ.

I'm sorry that I'm just now posting a blog. I should have done one earlier, but internet access and computer time has been limited this month. We are working with Cornerstone Ministries in Budaka, Uganda. We are working at their orphanage, and we also helped with a crusade last week. It has been a great month so far! I will try to write a blog about what we have been doing here soon. 

The leadership also told us that they felt like team changes were necessary to push people. They want to provide settings that will allow for the greatest possible spiritual growth. I will truly miss Team Umoja. We had so many great times together over the past three months, and it will be hard not having them around. But I'm excited about my new team as well.

 

(not the best picture because of the rain)

 

From left to right: Kirsten George, Anna Matthews, Mary Hollis, Chad Riley, Me, Lili Mejia, and Kris Tippet. Obviously you will remember Kris from my last team. Her support raising is going great by the way! She is getting close! Thank you all for praying and contributing! Click on any of their names to go read their About Me pages. I'm excited about working with this team because I believe that we will truly push each other to strive after the heart of God.

 

Thus our team name: Team Pulse. The pulse is how you know there is life. We are here to bring life. We want the beat of our heart to be in sync with the heartbeat of God. We want our hearts to break for what breaks His.